Howdy Half-Way Hysteria!

If it was possible to be more down and out than my last post, I was for a few days after our Mid-Service shit show, but now I have popped back up again and am slowly but surely morphing into my old cheery self…maybe just lacking a bit of my old optimism. I had a good laugh yesterday thinking about if whenever we squished something it went “nooooo” very softly. This is actually why I rarely kill bugs, because I feel guilty, but I thought about everything I do squish…definitely mosquitos…pimples…clothes into my backpack…Filipinos on a crowded jeepney…my pillow…trash in the trashcan…ketchup packets…Mariz’s cheeks…and imagining it all saying “noooo” so gently put a smile on my face and made me happy. I know I am a weirdo, and I am proud of it.

I eventually had to say goodbye to my German compadre, but we had one last adventure hoorah at Koo Koo’s Nest, the weekend before he left. This place is one of the most beautiful places I have ever stayed… with jutting cliffs coming out of crystal blue waves, coming right up to the hammocks, or “hang mats” as Martin would say, and …icing on the cake = a family of 5 gorgeous golden retrievers! Mom, dad, 2 brothers and a sister, all were stunning! They also had a small and chubby mutt named sausage, poor outcast… I miss cuddling with clean and healthy dogs very much, so this was a rare treat for me! Koo Koo’s nest is so secluded; you can only get there by motorbike for about 45 minutes on twisty turvy dirt roads with stunning views. I highly recommend it. This is also only a little over an hour away from my town, in the middle of nowhere. They only have 6 cottages, and we were the only people there besides staff the whole time. It is run by an adorably quirky older British couple, who laughed at me when I said I taught English… rebutting that I teach American, which I was a little offended by at first, but that is actually so true… We went snorkeling at the reef right off the coast, play wrestled with the dogs, body surfed (leading to a new scar from coral attacking my leg). It was a breathtaking and dreamy weekend vacation from reality. It was just so easy to talk with Martin for hours…about any and everything, this made me realize even more how unconnected I was with Daniel (who, by the way, already has a local Filipina girlfriend… so predictable, but we will get to that later). If you have ever seen “Before Sunrise,” the experience of Martin and I was a lot like that… but lasting for 3 weeks. It was hard to say goodbye, but romantic in ending on such a high, before we actually realized what each other’s flaws are. He went back home to teach in Germany, and I went back to my hut to bathe with a bucket and attempt to teach and inspire my students back in my reality. Our paths will cross again though…

Me & Martin

Me & The Pooches at Koo Koo's Nest

Hang

Mat

The Buglasan festival was in Dumaguete last weekend. I hung out with the new Peace Corps peeps and listened to a lot of live music, ate McDonald’s, and me, Jen, Chris, and new Charlie passed out in the same bed. This seems to happen a lot with us…it has been coined “party bed” and to be clear, it is always fully clothed and innocent! Probably can be psychoanalyzed by our consistent lack of any desired human friendly affection. Everyone has to smoosh on jeepneys and buses, and co-teachers will latch on and lean on us all the time, but that is uninvited… very different. Everybody likes a little snuggle and needs friendly physical contact, which is rare for us. And we are weird. I know. Masskara was the weekend after that, right before MST, it was also lots of fun, even more fun than last year. Us ladies had an afternoon of wine and cheese that really felt like we were in another place…gosh I miss cheese.

Buglasan 2013: We <3 Dumaguete

We so classyyyy

Masskara! If you couldn't have guessed...

My Bestie and I in the masks I made!

Masked Madness: Larry, Karla, Chris, Dave, Hillary, Me

On to MST, or our PC Mid-Service Training. This was a whirlwind of emotions for everyone. Karla, Hillary, and I stayed in a room together, and at some point each one of us burst into tears about some problem. I never used to burst into tears. The conference was essentially a waste of time… maybe its purpose was to raise morale, but I am not sure how effective it was. We did a lot of activities about our emotional health and how our work here is going, I was for sure one of the more upbeat and positive people at this point. I have such amazing students, that they really shine above the negative aspects, and I really am doing exactly what I cam here to do, but it was interesting to see where everyone else is at.

If you are wondering, I suppose I should add that Daniel and I avoided each other the best we could throughout MST… not easy when our batch has dwindled from 71 to 50 something volunteers. I was happy though that he did not show up to most of the big group fun activities…maybe because his “friends” invited me instead of him, or maybe because I can act normal in a group, when he can’t. I have never had this awkwardness with a person, and I hate it, so I had the idea of trying to talk things out civilly the last night. Bad idea. Started out fine and fake with small talk, he mentioned his new large back tattoo and Filipina girlfriend… then as soon as we started talking about our issues and both of our mistakes towards the end, he blew up and walked away, proving again his immaturity and failure to accept any responsibility for wrong doing…but at least him running away gave me closure. I did feel a little bad for him, it was obvious to everyone at the conference that he has lost most of his friends, and the people he does still hang out with were overly nice and complimentary to me... which was strange…kinda made me wonder what else I didn’t know about…and of course, I am sure his isolation and need for someone to be constantly reassuring him lead him to jumping into a relationship with a local. Good luck with that. It only upsets me because he treated me so poorly in the end, and I feel bad for the most likely naïve and innocent girl (or maybe she is very clever and only really wants a ticket to America…says my Dauin Filipina friend) Not my business either way…and I need to stop being childish and wasting my time even thinking about it. I will be indifferent soon enough, but it is hard when I still feel so strongly that he is an inherently evil person with many screws lose in his head. Anywayssss, he won’t be mentioned here again, and wish me luck with that indifference thing…

So “Stache Bash” is a Peace Corps tradition. The men grow out their beards as full as possible, then sculpt them into amusing shapes and create characters. It then turns into a somewhat beauty contest with these crazy characters. We had it on the first night of MST, Hillary and Jen were the MCs and it was quite amusing. I think there were 10 or so contestants and Chris ended up taking the title of Stache Bash 2013 King as his Stanley Kowalski character, a Chicago born asshole, loosely based on Hunter S. Thompson’s Raoul from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It’s funny that everyone used to think Chris was shy… everybody was chanting his name after this performance. He was also named MST MVP after his Talent show stand-up as the same character. Proud of my buddy! The talent show was actually full of some real PCV talent. We had a Balinese dancer, beautiful Russian hymn, step team, magic show, lullaby, and more, I am proud to say Negros had by far the most participants. Obviously, our island is the best. The volunteer in Manila, Bex, was brave and read her moving poem that shows the realness of Peace Corps life that is not seen in the happy Facebook photos. Here it is titled… “My Rose-Colored Glasses”

“I arise to a world which is not mine to claim. I put on my disguise.

My Rose Colored Glasses.

The smell of burning rats transforms into stretched silicon, much like the smells from a red balloon animal, sounding like the friction of skin to rubber.

A frame of a sick child squatting and hovering over her uncontrollable bowl movements quickly is replaced by a game of leapfrog.

She plays in her defecation, creating finger paintings of her hopes dreams.

My smile shall remain as radical as the environment. My fear will be covered by tightened facial muscles and of course my Rose Colored Glasses will remain in place.

A young boy with special needs has not been given the time to be taught to clean himself, he’s been given a lonely confused life…but with my Rose Colored Glasses, his kisses and hugs are sweet and longed for. My Rose Colored Glasses allow me see his wrist watch. My hand is his to hold and so is my time.

The clinging sound of pesos being bet on two small children surrounded by a crowd of adults. The last one standing will win.

My eyes refuse to see such ludicrous.

My Rose Colored Glasses see a team of supportive adults cheering for a bright future.

I seek refuge from the human baha in a neighbor’s house only to find the epicenter of the earthquake.

My fear at night turns into the weight of the ocean. Air supply is limited. Breaths become fast. Inhaling toxins and exhaling insecurities. This ocean has become my safe place thanks to My Rose Colored Glasses.

My Rose Colored Glasses see my acquired weight as strength and courage. My ocean has become fluid and warm.

Gun Shots become celebration sounds of fireworks.

Shabu crystals become gems.

Battered wives become battered cookies.

Drunken men become colorful clowns.

Rows of caskets become windmills.

Dead bodies are given second chances.

TB & HIV are just apart of the alphabet.

A simple fever is not a death sentence-only a hot fire of passion burning from within.

People are people, not 1,2,OR 3.

A hold up victim is held up to reach higher.

a crying child is crying out of joy from love and not hunger.

When I am brave. I remove my Rose Colored Glasses. I look down at that crying child and I am surprised to see no other than myself staring back at me.

I hand her My Rose Colored Glasses.”

Peace Corps life is hard. This is a third-world (I don’t like that term) or developing country. Like I have mentioned before, I rarely talk about the tragic things we see because people don’t like to read about that, and it is very personal for me. Just remember, my Facebook photo facade is not nearly the whole story. To lighten the mood… I will also include here Hillary and my original song, remade from John Lennon’s, “Give Peace a Chance”, that we performed for the first act of the talent show…

“Everybody’s talkin’ bout

Rainin’ and quakin’, floodin’ and shakin’,

Constipation, dreaming of bacon, project creating,

Plans and hearts that are breaking,

Chorus “All we are sayinggggg, is give peace a chance”

Everybody’s talkin’ bout

Projects that fall apart, trying not to lose heart,

Punchin’ your counterpart, struggling from the start,

Thought that poop was a fart, now I’m sittin' on the bus in my own shart,

Chorus “All we are sayinggggg, is give peace a chance”

Everybody’s talkin’ bout

Doing our VRF, trying to be the best,

Livin’ with no sex, but some Peace Corps incest

Joyful then depressed, bipolar like all the rest!

Chorus “All we are sayinggggg, is give peace a chance”

Everybody’s talkin’ bout

Holdin’ your tether, brave this bad weather

We may still get wetter, but it will get better

Like a big block of cheddar, we’re in this together!

Chorus “All we are sayinggggg, is give peace a chance”

Giveeee Peaceee A Chanceeeeee!"

Every act ended up winning some title, I think we got “Best original song adaptation,” and won some Hershey’s chocolate. Peace Corps Staff were our judges, so many other American treats were the prizes, including Velveeta Mac & Cheese = Gold. Besides the Stache Bash and the Talent Show, other nighttime activities included PC drinking games, a home-made power hour, a rare heart to heart with few PCVs and our PC country director, Denny, an awesome documentary called “Searching for Sugarman,” (go download music by “Rodriquez”) and a big group hotel room chika chika rant where we all mocked and complained about annoying Filipino mannerisms and culture… it would be amusing to see a group of Filipinos complaining about our American annoying mannerisms and weirdness. Our last work session was uplifting and turned into a dance party, putting all of our depressed selves away and bringing out positive and optimistic vibes to keep on keeping on! We really are a bonded pack of stone-cold weirdos. I know that I will be friends for life with many of them. Most of us are doing really amazing projects and working really hard behind our community’s love and support because of our integration.

Some Sirs of "Stache Bash 2013"

One-Year Down: Visual

MST MVP: Mr. Stanley Kowalski

So, Halloween is not really celebrated here, it is All Soul’s Day, and most of us went to the cemeteries with our host families last year, so this year we decided to dress up in the city, even if we looked ridiculous to everyone else…and we did. I was Jollibee’s girlfriend. Jollibee is the most popular fast food here, and I ate it for lunch, then made memorabilia out of the cup, bag, and napkin. We had a fun night out, party bedded again at the Australians’ house, then hiked up to the Twin Lakes the next morning. Fresh, beautiful, mountain air. Much missed and majestically lovely.

School has been busy like always… one of the requirements for this grading period is that each of the students writes a research paper. This becomes a dilemma when half of them have no idea how to type on a computer or do research, so we are starting completely from scratch. I looked at papers from past years, and almost every one was obviously copy and pasted from something on the internet…so we also talked all about plagiarism too…which they had never heard of before. A few days later now, and I am waiting patiently in my hut for the Super Typhoon Haiyan to hit, international name Yolanda, we will no doubt lose electricity and water for a few days... but my family is equipped with flashlights and 20 cans of sardines…and my lizard, moth, and cockroach companions will keep me entertained. Not even a month after the epic earthquake and now another dangerous natural disaster threat. This typhoon is projected to be worse than the one last year that killed over 1000 people. No wonder the Philippines can’t make any progress when they have to deal with so much inclement weather, shifting tectonic plates, and erupting volcanoes. I have to admit though that I am enjoying the free quiet time to update this blog, read, paint, and not be around screaming obnoxious children. As I am trying to write this blog, I am realizing how much of my previously witty vocabulary I am losing by speaking Visayan all the time. I am actually forgetting English words… it is depressing, even more so that I am supposed to be an English teacher. After braving this typhoon, I am counting down until I return to the U.S. and my family/friends for Christmas and New Years. I am really trying not to wish the days would fast-forward away, not a good way to live, still trying to cherish every day here with my students and host family, who both really do make this a rewarding experience and waking up every day with more nighttime sneaky spider bites worth it, but I am hoping the break at home will give me new inspiration and reincarnate my former deceased optimistic worldview…and not lead me into a mental breakdown. Time will tell.

This is a giant jackfruit we plucked from a tree... not a dinosaur egg...

Roll On

Remember all of that talk about losing it? Well… I finally lost it. I was especially irritable one day, and my students were being especially obnoxious. Bad combination. So background to this story, one of my favorite and sweetest students, also a Glee Club member, got jumped and beat up over the weekend by a group of other high school boys, 2 of whom were my other students. The student victim, who would come and chat to practice English with me almost every other day at lunchtime, actually came to me personally and told me the story, and I realized that the bullies were the same students who infuriate me on a daily basis. So Monday comes, class begins, and a few of the boys grab the library newspapers and start cutting them up for some other class project… that was the beginning of the downward spiral. Usually the kids are so responsible and scared of touching the property of other people, and everyone knows the newspapers are for reading in the library only, so I was shocked by these selfish acts, and reprimanded them then. Next, as others are working productively on their group project, one of the trouble-making bully boys starts throwing paper balls and another boy, I continually ask them to stop, repeat it in Visayan, then eventually say “if I see one more paper in the air, I will go get the principal.” The evil bullyboy looks directly at me and throws another paper at his friend. The whole class nervously gasps, then I burst out of the room angrily… then immediately break down outside of their view. The vast majority of Filipino students are so polite, I had never experienced anything like this blatant disrespect before, and I felt completely powerless. I start crying uncontrollably, and the worst part of this is there is NOWHERE to be alone at my school. People even look into the bathroom stall holes. Not a proud moment… but I knew this teaching thing would be hard sometimes. I brought in my intimidating counterpart, who gave them a good and terrifying scolding. She also gave me some wise seasoned teacher advice; to next time make him eat the paper ball… seriously. Haha, but really, she made me feel a lot better and talked about how all teachers have that moment at some point. I had those boys teach the class for the next couple of days to see what it feels like… they also had to clean the bathrooms. I was having a good hard cry after school that, when Tiny Tim came on my iTunes party shuffle...and made me chuckle... that is precisely why party shuffle is the bomb diggity. Those students are acting a bit better now in class, but they still get me pretty riled up daily. It is hard for me to be so angry with them though, when I know they are having problems at home and only acting out for attention because of that. Although, I know of other students who have horrifying home life and are angels in school, so I don’t know if it is an excuse to misbehave so.

To continue with my whining, I went to a 3 hour and 45 minute mass last weekend. Seemed like I would never get a break. This was a mass of “Youth for Peace,” with many different schools involved to touch on the war in Zamboanga of Mindanao, Philippines, and the other turmoil around the world. This was a good idea in theory, but 4 hours of sitting and standing and singing outside in the Filipino sun was actually a form of disgustingly smelly torture… but not a single student complained.

Some cool stuff is also happening of course. We had the giant Girl Scout and Boy Scout encampments and parades last weekend, I got to finally spend some time with the Elementary school cuties and do some crafts. This is all similar to the Girl Scouts of the U.S., except everyone buys their patches here instead of earning them and actually being able to perform skills… so the rich kids have all the patches and fancy uniforms… so messed up and pointless, I know. Philippines…you are killing me. One fun day though, I got to take some of my seniors on a fieldtrip to Asian college in the city. This is a trade school, so it was interesting to see their campus with rooms for practicing bartending, elderly and childcare, and hotel management. The other teachers and I had a photo-shoot in every room when the students were on the tour…so beautifully Filipino.

The Wee Girl Scouts!

Something I have always feared finally happened last weekend. I stepped on a spiny sea urchin. It hurt soooo much initially for a few seconds, but then was not too bad except that the spikes broke off deep inside my foot, and there was no earthly way to retrieve them… but I was semi productive with my bedridden day and designed/painted two original masks for Hillary and I to wear at the Masskara Festival this year. I was pretty proud of myself. Tiny pieces of the spikes are still way up there, but I figure they will work themselves out eventually, and it does not hurt anymore. I even went running the other day with my chubby sissies. Nicole did really well, and I only had to give Mariz a 5 minute piggy back ride on the way home… once we get home, I turn my head for a moment, and look back to see Mariz hand deep in a jar of pure chocolate and finger feeding herself… what a waste.

Sea Urchin = Ouch.

MASSKARA 2013 uniquely made by me

So with the giant spiders, freezing cold bucket baths, pesky mosquitos, constant smelly sweatiness, snarky students, and so much more that terrorize me all the time, many things make me laugh here… very hard. For example, the way Filipinos look like they are having a silent seizure when they laugh really hard (a distinguishing Filipino lovable trait), or my sweet and quiet, homosexual host brother wearing a shirt that has a male outline holding a rooster and a female outline holding a cat with the lines, “Nice cock,” and “Nice pussy,” and family dance parties, student high school awkwardness, and my student writing “suck” for every time she meant stab in her murder mystery story, and the story about Shakira’s army fighting evil with their secret weapon……..the Hulk, which were both turned into their plays later on. I am actually in a constant state of amusement/joy/horror.

A bunch of volunteer agencies in Dumaguete planned a big beach cleanup for International Coastal Clean-Up Day. It went really well, besides all of the human feces and giant dead rat with a puncture wound actually oozing out some nuclear bright green goop… not a pleasant sight. The part of the beach where my group went was a squatter area, and there were a bunch of cute kids who started watching then helping us clean! They just started throwing all the seaweed in the bag, but we taught them that just plastics and trash are harmful to the ocean, so we take them out. I was in charge of 5 boys and 2 girls from the “Little Children of the Philippines” orphanage. It was also nice to see all of the LCP boys again, who my brother worked with. They were as cutely affectionate and crazy rambunctious as usual.

International Coastal Clean Up Day @ Dumaguete Beach

Shaberry, the CRAB, and us

The next week of classes ended with our district sports competition. Cathy and I were in charge of table tennis…my neck is still sore. I am having my students write their own dramas in groups. I lovedddd the creative ideas they had, edited all of the grammar, and then they memorized and performed. They were so charming! I almost peed my pants at certain moments. Like when one group had made this giant tree prop and you could see it entering behind the curtains and hitting people every time it was brought in… and when a stick was thrown out looking like a snake…and so many other times when things did not make sense, like a random throwing of shoes… so many weird creative things they used for props since they can’t afford much…and mostly just the funny “deer in headlights” faces of my students when they made a mistake or forgot their lines. I love them so.

This past weekend was an AMAZINGLY entertaining time and finally some freedom and fun from my never ending 50+ hour work weeks. The new batch of PCVs just got to their permanent sites, and I am pretty sure, our Negros Island has all of the cool ones, well that is what they tell me, haha. It was super cool surfer Bayawan Charlie’s birthday, so it was a good excuse for our first big group-get together. Harold fed us yummy snacks of fish kinilaw and chicken feet, then drinks at Hayahay, ending with videoke of course. There are no new education volunteers near us, most all are coastal resource management, and Chris was so excited we finally got a few more boys to even out our ratio… you should have seen all the football talk at our first family dinner…until the beers started flowing then Chris proposed to Larry, the newbie named Rocky publically proposed to me, and the sloppiness only increased until the survivors (Me, Vicki, Michelle, our Filipino friends, Ivory and Noel, and my new adorable German tourist friend) continued singing videoke early into the morning while the newbs, initially who were offended by my calling them newbs, then proved my point by all passing out in the videoke room… but honestly, I am very fond of them, and I am so excited for this next year! Since my newfound foreign friend, Martin, is a sports and economics teacher at home in Germany, I decided to bring him to my school to teach my classes for a day, so he could get more cultural experience than just the touristy stuff. He is 6 ft. 7 in, and was a big hit with the students and a terror to my little sisters. We then headed to Siquijor with friends for a weekend of cliff diving, typhooning, and no power… leading to cooking over the fire, hours of intellectual conversations, and my face actually being physically sore from smiling so much. We may or may not have traversed almost the whole island by motorcycle. The whole weekend flashed by like a dream with a soundtrack by Avicii, then it was back to school to celebrate World Teacher’s Day with many presentations, flowers, and delightful homemade cards.

Rowdiness.

Martin, Me, and class JADE

So, once again, and as always, my days are riddled with euphoria next to calamity. I am learning how to deal. The best coping method to be found so far has to be magical weekend getaways (make up for every bad moment) or venting with other volunteers who share the same frustrations. Seeing their bright and shining excited faces put a new inspiration in me… Let the good times roll…

WHALE SHARK Surprise Sighting! Etc...

Here are some more hordes of random.

My host family sisters and school have been wearing me down a bit… but a spontaneous night in the city usually pulls me out of the slump. I experienced just that when a few PCVs went to a pasta night with the Australians in Dumaguete, since we never see pasta anymore... unless it is the super sweet imitation spaghetti that is always served at birthdays to represent long life. This was much better though, parmesan cheesy and scrumptious, and we kept ourselves easily entertained by playing charades. After, we checked out a live band, who plays original Visayan songs, which is surprisingly rare because most bands here just do covers... it was really cool. I thank the stars all the time for being placed fairly close to a city, so I can have these escapes. I don’t think they exist in most of rural Africa, which over 80% of Peace Corps applicants get sent to… but then again, I would probably have equally as amazing adventures there… just not “escapes.” I will forever wonder about the mysterious steppe and gers of Mongolia…

Speaking of attempted escapes…for Karla’s birthday and since it was “National Hero’s Day” holiday too; we planned a little long weekend vacation getaway to a place called Sipalay. We had heard rave reviews of a gorgeous white sand beach named “Sugar Beach.” My co-teacher actually told me it got the name Sipalay for the foreigners who go there to “Sip Away their problems and worries with alcohol…” which was exactly what we depressed peace corps peeps wanted to do to suppress and drown our sorrows for a change! The best place to stay was booked up, they only have rooms enough for 6 people, but we walked around there a bit, and it was realllyyyy cool, all eclectic with weird things hanging from the ceiling and a giant seahorse statue I fell in love with…but we stayed at another place that had room… called “Driftwood Village.” This place was pretty cool, made entirely out of driftwood, however it was not the vaca we imagined. The drinks were overpriced, so we instead binged on mango shakes and “chicaron” AKA fried pork skins. We slept on mats on the floor and giant spiders/beetles/creatures were at every angle. Hillary actually broke through the floor upon our tour of the cottage and got a gnarly bruise… but no resulting discounts. The girls sleeping downstairs swore that we had a midnight visitor one night, we debated whether it was an aswang, capre, or one of the many other mythical terrifying creatures that live in the dark corners of the Philippines…we later concluded it was a stray dog that busted in to eat the open bag of potato chips that disappeared along with a whole banana bunch. At least that is what we told ourselves in order to fall asleep the next night. There were gorgeous sunsets and great company galore, which is really all we ever needed. It was the first time I got to hang out with a small group of all of my favorite PCVs, primarily Hillary, Chris, and Karla! It rained most of the time we were there, so we spent countless hours playing “Cards Against Humanity.” Have you heard of this gem? It is basically Apples to Apples, but adult version and way past being inappropriate…I peed my pants once from laughing so hard. However, us peculiar volunteers share a certain deranged sense of humor that you might not be able to identify with, so I will refrain from listing any hilarious line crossing examples here. I left a day early though to save money and get back for an introvert lounge date with a tub of ube ice cream and Game of Thrones before having to get back to the rigorous school grind. As I was walking back from this very secluded beach, it happened to be high tide, so there was no way to get out except for wading through the boob deep ocean…so that is precisely what I did… Backpack held high overhead, jean shorts thoroughly soaked…just dandy for the 6-hour bus ride home that followed… not much phases me anymore.

Me and Karla, the Birthday Gal

The Sipalay Gang at our one nice din din

GIANT CLAMS... that's right.

Yea... that happened.

We found a bat cave! Yuck!

The Nemos I painted on my wall

What was calling me home the whole trip...

For some unknown reason, it seems all of the sudden, my hut has been infested by giant cockroaches, or uk-ok, in Visayan, Good thing I have my savior roommates, the giant Tuco lizards. However, our relationship is becoming less and less symbiotic... Their favorite part of my place is the bamboo chunk right behind my head. So every time they run to catch an unsuspecting insect, I wake up and feel like someone is running at me to attack and shaking my whole house, quite jarring and giving me crazy dreams too. Not to mention how there seem to be more mosquitos now more than ever, I sit still for a second and I already have 20 bites in one area. Ugh…evil bloodsucking demon buzzers! I did have a hilarious encounter the other day with the big Tuco though, I was on my computer and all of the sudden I see his giant head slowly creeping up behind my table, then we lock eyes… and he slowly moved reverse/backward crawling back down. I don’t really know why I found this so amusing, but I was laughing very heartily out loud. It was just like “Oops she is still out there… retreat retreat… but slowly…calmly…” Aye yay yi… it is always the little things that brighten my day the most.

There have been many celebrations here recently. My school celebrated our 43^rd Founders Day with a program including an intermission number from my Glee babies. They were so cute and great, with only a few mic mishaps holding them back. Then that afternoon was the “mass demonstration” which is where every year level performs their giant group dance number, and one group is awarded the best… so strange and so Filipino, but very entertaining. We also had our school sports eliminations for the district meet coming up; I was in charge of the table tennis group… almost lost an eye. The Glee group that I chose to perform at Founder’s Day were mostly from my last class of the day, and I was a little nervous about their dedication, but they surprised me so much by showing up to practice on time and staying way past the time. They also surprised me again with a random adorable thank you video for me. My students here are seriously the best and sweetest anywhere… I don’t deserve them. This video made me laugh a lot more than they expected I think, each one of them popped out from behind this bush one at a time, said their message, then hopped off screen, which I found hilarious. However, the part of all this that made me feel the best was it was all the idea of my former most despised troublemaking student! One of my best students even talked to me about how the other student finally was not afraid to show his actually creative ideas, and that his whole group has already been “changed” by Glee Club. It really made the butterflies in my tummy flutter about like crazy. My brother joked that they should make a Disney Original Channel Movie out of my experience here, which I think was a twisted satirical compliment.

Founder's Day

Founder's Day

Ummm,  Founder's Day

My Glee Cuties Practicing!

You might have seen my super snazzy scuba photos on Facebook. My dream finally came true with the picture of my turtle friend and me. I somehow snagged a special invite to the dive instructor Apo Island dive trip with Harold, most likely because I live in Dauin where they were sailing off from. I was a little nervous while diving since everyone else was SOOO much more experienced than me and no one did the safety checks, but everything went smoothly and I survived and got some fabulous photos! Turtles… clownfish…  camouflaging cuttlefish… scorpion fish… a school of hundreds of jacks … trumpet fish … triggerfish… what a spectacular underwater magic world! I am so scuba spoiled. But alas, I have spent the last of my personal money on those dives, so it will be a while before I get back down below.

BUTTTT something else truly magical happened most unexpectedly on a lazy Saturday.

Just another beach weekend in the Philippines, I was tandem paddle boarding along my lovely backyard Mindanao Sea with the lovely PCV Vicki, who was transferred to Dumaguete… a paddleboard is just a bigger surfboard, and it was not really meant for 2 people, but we both have really good balance her from surfing me from snowboarding and we made it happen! We are just playing around with one paddle when lo and behold, a curious WHALE SHARK nonchalantly shows up to join our tomfoolery!  I saw the spots and went into brief shock of elation, luckily we did not fall over right on top of it! It was around 4 meters or 13ft long! Too bad our shrieks of excitement scared him quickly away, but it was truly magical. Dauin is not on the normal migration pattern for whale sharks… I actually paid to go on a whale shark tour up north, and the guide could not find any… but this is a much better story for my first siting… everything happens for a reason!

THIS IS NOT MY PHOTO... OR THE SAME SHARK... but I wanted to show you the whale shark paddle board size relation which is accurate to my experience!

The biggest event of the year happened last weekend in Dauin, our town fiesta in honor of our patron saint. If you remember me talking about fiestas before, this is an event where families go house to house and eat eat eat. The wealthier houses have the big lechon roasted whole pig. This is not my idea of a good time, but luckily a bunch of my friends came to join/save me. I was a fool to befriend our adorable family goat…he licked my legs and toes each morning, as I would scratch him on his favorite ear. We also had been fattening up our own pig. Every morning for a week before fiesta, I would be awoken by the worst sound in the world. Pigs being slaughtered. They make the most terrifying and ear piercing sounds…they also are smart enough to know what is about to happen to them, so they fight so hard against it and poop all over the place because of their terror. I can’t watch it because I can’t help myself from crying and the Filipinos around me get very confused because they only see animals to be used for food, profit, or protection. Animal companionship is not a thing here, except for the westernized better off people and their cockapoos and such, whatever the hell that is. When my friends came, I took them to our town disco, which is a giant dance party in the street. This actually happened in some form every night for a while before fiesta that made it not easy to sleep, but when we actually went it was fun. We did the traditional “tagay” drinking rum out of the bottle and had our fare share. We ended up all 4, Jen, Larry, Chris, and me falling asleep on my one tiny guest bed… the most action any of us has gotten in months… I was the first one to wake up in the morning… slowly putting together what happened, and I went into a hysterical laughing fit. My light was still on, 3 sweaty and fully clothed, including shoes, Americans, squished on this tiny bed, not even large enough to fit one American comfortably, we were all drenched in sweat because no one brought the fan over or bothered to turn it on and way too much body heat… no space… no air flow… and Jen had moved from her original spot curled up at the foot of the bed to being face down snoring on the cement floor. It was suchhhh a funny scene, and it definitely was an embarrassing highlight of the weekend…

I have been coming pretty close to losin it recently with all the chaos happening in town. By losin it, I mean completely losing my shit, and opening a can of whoop ass on my co-teachers, certain students, even little and round sisters Mariz and Nicole. No one is safe. I am sure you are thinking what a whiney brat, she gets to go scuba diving, finds a whale shark, drink with her friends. Let me remind you, these things happen VERY RARELY, but I think you enjoy reading about them more than reading about my daily boring struggle with teaching to hormone enraged religious restricted adolescents, surviving of a boring diet of rice, fruit, and fish, and the sad scenery of poverty mixed with snobby foreigners’ mansion that surround me. That is something that makes Dauin unique… because of the beach and diving, there are a couple of rich European old men who live literally right across from starving kids living on the street, who eat from their trash bin. I see this almost every morning while walking to school. I don’t know what I would expect the rich guys to do… they can’t feed them all… but it is just depressing. But yes yes… the amazing moments make every bit of the struggles so worth it. It is mostly just the little things that drive me the most crazy like, ugh, how many times during fiesta when I would just eat some fruit because I had been force-fed to the point of bursting at so many other houses already. Then the teachers go on with ohhhh Allie’s on a diettt…. Um, no women, I just would prefer not to eat your dead unidentifiable animal that has been sitting out for 2 days and has bugs flying all over it. Just a little bit of venting here… I am also NOT a fan of the teachers always leaning on/holding/grabbing me… this would not be so infuriating if I were not always drenched in sweat… but I am… so it is very unwelcome and uncomfortable… even if it coming from a cute place of affection. I will not even begin to state all of the unbelievable flaws in the institution of Dep Ed (which was actually implemented long ago by us dumb Americans) that makes students understanding the curriculum impossible. As if work isn’t hard enough, combine that with constantly feeling alone in a room full of boisterous Filipinos and battling loneliness on a daily basis, even though I only speak in Visayan with my co-teachers now, they still manage to critique my accent or point out some other way I am different from them. Anyways, this blogs vibe is going downhill fast, so I will stop now. Let’s bring the vibe back to wonderful whale sharks and my super sweet students, who are the reason behind the rhyme of this bizarre and rewarding Peace Corps experience.

I will leave you with some wise words from one of my 15 year-old male students, “we should just love, not fall in love, because everything that falls gets broken...”

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