The Final Countdown

So this is what it feels like to be 25. What is my quarter life epiphany you may ask? Heck if I know… what is the magical mystery and fun spontaneity of life if you have everything all figured out? I am only one more blog posts away from being back in America posh, I do know that, praise the Lord! Inshallah! Thank you Great Leader!

Some of my favourite students who graduated came to school and surprised me with a b-day cake!

My other PARTY cake... coolest cake ever.

I have also learned to appreciate God’s sense of humor… like when the wind blows my hair in the night, and I freak out and wake up thinking a rat is on my head, or when the termite swarm somehow gets inside my mosquito net and all stuck in my hair, or when a giant black millipede slithers over my foot. (I screamed look down flung it off my foot into the air, realized what it was and scooped it in a paper to release it) Or the fact that everyone’s hair is falling out here because of the water, which smells like poop every time I turn on the faucet.  Yes, so I have to bathe with smelly fart water. Or when I am already having the worst day ever and I slice my finger open trying to move my fan while kids are heckling me outside my window, or lastly, when my little sister tells me that the Lola granny is sleeping/sweating in my bed during the days while I am at school. It seems that this whole experience is even more difficult with the finish line so closely in sight… but then I think back to my worst day, when I threw up from heat stroke in front of my students then was forced boiling water to drink and rubbed down with vapo rub giving me a full body on fire rash... and I think maybe that things are not more difficult now, I have just finally lost my tolerance for the daily struggle.

I just don’t want to fake happiness anymore. I want to be excited to wake up to a new day, not dread it and want to stay in bed forever because my burrito eating/ sexy time/ flower field frolicking dreams are better than reality. I know a lot of that is my own mindset, and you might think I am a whiney brat, but unless you worked solo with no pay in a developing country far from home, family, and friends for more than a year, you can’t understand what it’s like. The loneliness and times of cultural isolation are indescribable and unbearable; almost half of my batch dropping out over the past years proves that. I feel so much hate build up inside of me every day and it terrifies me. I hate the teacher who always makes fun of my nose and skips her classes. I hate the student who beat up my sweetest Glee Club star student because he “didn’t like his face.” I hate the mosquitos, ants, termites, spiders, cockroaches, one of which is on my body every second. I hate having terrifying earthquake dreams and waking up so utterly alone. I hate the dirty old men who come here from abroad to have sex with children. I hate that families force their daughters into sex trafficking because they are all starving. But most of all, I hate myself for letting all of the useless and detrimental hatred build up inside of me. I know how bad it is, and I know I am the only one with the power to turn things around… but sometimes a girl has just gotta vent! The Philippines is a very flawed country, with corruption, nepotism, greed, and the Department of Education at the root of the problem. The hardest working people are the ones who struggle the most just to get by while the lazy rich get richer, a common world dilemma, but it sure doesn’t help here with all of the typhoons, landslides, and volcanic eruptions keeping things chaotic. The most depressing thing is that things won’t ever get better for the Philippines. Stay tuned for a deeper personal opinion analysis after I return home… once my emotions are in check… if that ever happens again.

“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” – Miriam Adeney

I did have an awesome dive with Harold and the gang a few weeks back. Just here in my Dauin backyard beach, in the muck sand area, we spotted 3 different seahorses (one of which was pregnant), a rare hairy frogfish, pink and white frogfishes, scorpionfish, and the magical flamboyant cuttlefish. Our dive ended up being 92 minutes long! I guess I have finally regulated my breathing because most tanks only last about 45 minutes. I love going out with those dive masters, and I realize how lucky I am.

The next week I discovered that we grow beautiful luscious spinach in out yard! We actually grow all sorts of cool things, chili peppers, mangos, calamansi (lemon/lime/orange hybrids), kamote (sweet potato), kalamunggay (horseradish), but the spinach is all over the place and never picked or eaten… until I told my host mom how healthy it is and how much I like it. I am seriously deprived of actual healthy green foods around here… pork fat and goat intestines don’t do my body good. Guess what was for dinner the next night? I walk into the house to find a giant plate full of individually four/egg battered and fried spinach leaves… I couldn’t help but laugh… to keep from crying… haha. Nicole smiled as she crunched, “I’m eating vegetables and healthy, yay!” Ohhhhhh sigh…. I didn’t have the heart to say that frying the leaves defeats the healthy purpose of eating it… but it was cute that they tried something new to make me happy.

Last night I drank wine out of my coffee pot, since all the cups are in the other house, and I tried to splash a giant spider with my tabo (that handle bucket I use to bathe) which resulted in the water flying backwards over my head at each time (3 separate attempts) drenching my whole hut…another movie humiliation moment. Peace Corps should have a reality TV show.

I have written this blog in moments over several different days, as you might be able to tell by the extreme mood shifts. I am really trying to turn it around and get my positive attitude and optimism back now. I only have 8 more weeks left in the Philippines, and I am going to cherish the rest of this adventure. I will never be more young and alive than I am at this very moment.

Bali, Bintang, & Barnacles

Bali Bali Bali! It was more of the EAT part of Eat Pray Love for us, but it was sure scrumptious indeed! Sooooo great to be with my mom and brother, and I loved all the Hindu temples and cultural quarks, but maybe I am a lil biased… the beaches in the Philippines are better! And sooooo much less crowded. The amount of tourist and traffic was suffocating, really not what we expected, but overall it was another amazing adventure. We stayed on Lembongan Island for the first 3 days, it really felt like the Philippines because it is still fairly underdeveloped and rural. Matthew and I surfed with Agus Frimanto there, who was a pro junior surfer in Hawaii, same age as Matthew. Next, we went scuba diving with some puffers, triggerfish, and crazy currents. Of course, we also got in a good fix of trashy Honey Boo Boo and Bondi Vet air-conditioned TV time... which just might have been what I was looking forward to most about the trip.

Our meal experiences were the highlight. We ate at a beautiful restaurant called Panorama on Lembongan that looked over the whole island. Bali has 2 main cheap beers, Bali Hai and Bintang, both of which are exponentially better than all the San Mig products here in the Philippines! We then stayed on Sanur Beach in Bali for the next few days, it was very nice, and we stumbled upon a wonderland of religious statues, orchids, and loaded aussies who were staying at this snazzy place. We had a lovely seafood dinner under the sunset on Jimbaran beach, and one of the best meals of my life at Three Monkeys in Sanur, funny as it would have it, everything we ate at most of the places turned out to be vegetarian… toasted ricotta ravioli, pumpkin feta bruschetta, marinated olives, hazelnut salad, pumpkin ravioli, and to drink: ginger margarita (mom), passion fruit cocktail (me), and matt with his 21^st birthday absinth. (He did not seem affected by it much besides unconsciously stomping on all of the street offering baskets as per usual… typical. We watched a spectacular Barong Show at one of the temples, acting out one of the Hindu stories of good and evil. It was so awesomely weird and wonderful, just as expected. Ubud was the coolest town, where the most famous Monkey Forest is.

Barong Show

The Monkey Forest was a debacle within itself, of course the crazy monkeys would sniff out the most vulnerable of our group… my innocent momma. Before she knew what had hit her, a monkey was on her shoulders stealing her Maui Jim shades. I felt just as much worried concern as amusement, but we should have seen that coming, good thing there were human monkey guards lurking around just for these very situations, and she got the glasses back, but not without a fight. All over Bali were really cool silver making places, wood carving, and paintings. A very artsy place indeed. We also went to visit one of the farms where they make “kopi luwak,” the coffee made with civet (wild cat) poop. It is one of the most expensive coffees in the world. We gave it a try… not bad! The most exciting part of that tour though might have been petting the GIANT bat... then watching it lick its own giant bat balls… Disgusting yet fascinating. The next day,  Matt and I attempted to go surfing again on Kuta beach, the world-famous surfing place, but the waves were too big for us and smashed all of the confidence and pride that we had gained from doing so well on Lembongan. Our last meal was the most delightful. It was actually the partner resto of our favorite Three Monkeys, but it was in another city, that Ubud. It took a lot of searching to find it and just at the point when we were most ravished and grumpy, we stumbled upon it. It was totally secluded and so cute. We drank sauvignon blanc and ate eggplant parmesan, four cheese pizza, gnocci, and watched cute ducks chase each other in a lovely quiet nook right next to the hectic streets of Ubud. My kinda perfect meal!!! Fabulous. The whole trip could have only been better if we had our adored Faja with us!

Making Kopi Luwak!

Yikes!

No Biggie.

The Dreamer.

Panorama at Lembongan

Jimbaran Beach

The Last Lovely Lunch!

Since Mom and Matt were leaving at midnight and my flight was not until 8 AM, I stayed one more night at a cheaper but clean looking place… and get this… woke up to a cockroach sneaking down my pants. Not a pleasant wake up, but a very fitting wake-up call back into the reality of my Peace Corps volunteer life. Now it is back to the grind of 10-hour sweat-drenched school days. I have lost most all of my patience and motivation, but I am trying to stay positive in this home stretch. BUTTT another short vacation has saved my sanity! It was Philippines Independence Day last Friday, so some friends and I went to the island of Boracay for the long weekend. It was amazinggg white sand, gorgeous water, full of foreigners and new cool friends! We listened to the best reggae I have ever heard while smoking hookah on the beach, so magical. We stayed in a 10 person strong house with other Australian volunteers from the north of the Philippines (one bathroom, no mirror, no flush (tabo only) toilet… yea we are still in the Philippines, thanks for the reminder) but it was really fun to have a big group. Staying in a house with a lot of people is the only way we could afford this place! One of the nights we went to a “Full Moon Party” at this place called Area 51. So so weird. Can’t really put it into writing… too many people on drugs… too much techno… and too many schwarzenegger Austrian/Russian types dancing shirtless on bars. Needless to say, that was a one-time only needed experience!

It rained every afternoon, but it was even more fun swimming in the waves and the storm, and it would clear up and be sunny within an hour. Windsurfing is really big in Boracay and we really really wanted to try, but it took hours of training and was way too expensive anyways. BUT! While Karla, Meli, and I were swimming, the best wind surfer on the island rode by us trying to show-off.  Meli told me to joke and ask if we could get a ride, and sure enough, he said, “Ok, let’s give it a try!” Then, one by one, we each piggy backed him while he steered the kite to lift us up and flyyyyy up up and awayyy. Sometimes it pays to be a girl, haha. It was soooo fun, and didn’t cost us a thing!!! Well, except maybe our dignity, we probably looked completely ridiculous… I know I looked like a tarsier hanging on for dear life, but so worth it. That weekend was another perfect break from the tedious month of school stressful teaching reality, more reasons why I am so grateful to have been placed in the Philippines were these tropical vacation escapes are possible.

The Daily Storm

Mason Jar Long Islands!

DAUIN NIPA HUT UPDATE: My pup, Pepper, had her own puppies!!! I am not even biased, they are the cutest puppies ever.

The Dweebs.

It is my 25^th birthday next week. So weird and happening toooo fast. I found the coolest rainbow layered cake in the city though, so my PC friends are in for a treat, and we will all retreat to "Koo Koo's Nest" for the weekend.. Then in July I will be doing resource volunteer work, in August is our Close of Service Conference, then I make my way home on September 17^th… can’t believe it, bring on the finale Philippines! Cheers!

So much Strange.

So, it has come the time when I just might claim this has been the best month yet! Needless to say… it is because I have done very minimal work and maximum shenanigans, praise the Lord for school vacation time! I was planning to visit my other volunteer friend in Leyte for some sun and sand, and when Hillary’s GLOW camp fell through, I invited her along, and we made an adventure out of it! My flight was actually cancelled due to “technical problems” eeeeek, but tis the Philippines, and they make do, they piled a bunch of us into a van for the 5-hour drive to our destination… my favorite city, Cebu City. Hil and I stayed at the awesomely hipster “Henry Hotel.” One of the coolest/most unique hotels ever. It was posh livin indeed, we bought a golden watermelon (yes they have scrumptious yellow watermelon here) and a dragonfruit from the market for real cheap because we wanted to eat them by the hotel pool. We asked the guy behind the bar to borrow a knife, but instead he happily took all the fruit and brought us out carved watermelon artwork, toothpicks and all! Ahhhhh special treatment… and under utilized talent!

Us with The Henry himself

Our Marilyn themed room at The Henry Hotel

The highlight of the Cebu weekend would have to be the strip club. Here we go. Don’t judge us too harshly, but Hillary and I thought it would be amusing to go to one of the 2 gay male strip clubs in the city. We were not disappointed. This began as a joke… but turns out we have been away from good looking fellas for far too long. The place was just a tad creepy, decorated like a jungle with weird random Japanese stuffed animals. Makes sense? A few creepy voyeurs sitting in corners, but then our saving grace was a big bachelorette party of girls. I don’t mean to hurt any feelings here, but I had yet to find a single Filipino man attractive before this night… now I have found 20 Filipino men attractive! Haha. They were all really muscular, tall, and tattooed… I guess they try to attract foreigners? The only downfall…. They were each wearing girls cut off daisy duke shorts with cowboy boots, that’s right, but this was so wonderful in its own hilarious way! I really cannot describe this whole experience to its full spectacularity, but I will try. The guys all slow motion interpretive danced one by one to 80’s love ballads… so Filipino. At one point 4 of them came out covered in weird solid colored sheets… time for a special dance… I will not describe it.. but yes, surprise penis did happen. The guys were actually escorts as well, and the word is most of them are actually straight. It is really depressing once we thought about their whole situation, but we were in no way going to take the bait. On the way out one of the guys bid me farewell, “Goodbye very tall lesbian…” We almost died laughing, he was so serious, of course, the only explanation he could think of for me not taking him home was because I was a lesbian. Oh the male ego… and funny ending to one of the weirdest nights of our lives.

We also saw the famous dancing inmates! This was another phenomenal Filipino spectacle. The prison is supposedly maximum security… but they never checked our bags, and we actually got to go down at the end and dance with the prisoners, I even got the warden to take a photo of us. What is going on?!?! What a weird life I live. There is a really cool history to it all, but I am lazy. Read here, but the dancing was actually real talent, and I think it is a great rehabilitation program.

Oh Hey!

After all that madness, we were finally off on the overnight ferry to Leyte. We went diving with Laura, who is actually a marine biologist and dive master, what better dive companion can there be? One day our boat went through a pod of 30 something dolphins and pilot whales. SO COOL. We are really feelin hot hot hot down here now, summer is aggressive. Then it was time to go home, back on that dreaded overnight ferry to Cebu, then 6 hour bus back to Dauin.

Me, Andrew, Hil, Laura = a bit burned in Padre Burgos,  Leyte

One of the not so pluses of being a warden, was that Rocky and I, he is the batch 272 warden of our region, had to visit all 12 of the Negros Oriental volunteers by only using the site maps that we all had to make in case of emergency. Good idea in theory, but wandering around in the Filipino sun searching for volunteers for 3 days straight and riding on standing room only buses every time is not what I call a good time… and I got bit by a dog. C’est la vie. We rewarded ourselves with mall slushies.

SLUUUURP

The next night was one of the coolest/scariest ever. There was a big thunderstorm, but highlight on the lightning. It was like a light show, every second and everywhere you looked the sky would light up. Then the power went out, and the thunder was sooo loud, I was just a little terrified, felt like God was angry with me for going to a strip club. I got up to light a candle, and stood at my doorway for just a few minutes watching the storm. Candle lit, I get back into bed and notice it has gotten very smelly, and I think about all the stray dogs that are probably soaked and scared to death. I fall asleep for like 5 minutes, then a swear I hear a whining sound and I wake up. The candle has gone out and I might be more scared then than I have ever been. I am freaking out wondering what is in my house in the pitch blackness... then a dog barks right in front of my face! I nearly had a heart attack, but instead went into this crying panic searching for light hoping it was a dog I knew. I can’t see anything with just my phone light, and I am scarred to flee the safety of my mosquito net, but I need to get this thing outta here, I just run to my door open it and the neighbor old dog, Budoy, runs out. Whew! How did he get in there?!?! He must have snuck in right past me when I was standing by the open door, anyhow, that was an altogether traumatizing middle of the night tired heat haze experience, but now a funny story.

I went to a co-teachers wedding… I did not faint this time. Sadly, I am looking forward to never attending a Philippines special occasion again. It is always pig and goat parts that have been siting outside in the heat for hours and are covered by flies, then the flies cover you while eating and everyone stuffs their faces like animals. I am not being very culturally sensitive, but I am setting the honest scene. This is when I think it is about time to head home, when I turn negative about everything, and I feel like one more day at school will be torture. I am ready for America. 2 Years & 3 months is a longgg time.

I really have been living in a dream this month though, such strange things happening. I hopped in my bed the other night ready to watch me some House of Cards, when I hear creepy noises then look around and realized my mosquito net is fullll of termites flying around, like they were everywhere, all over me all of the sudden. What the what? I flew out of my bed and tried to life up the net and release them, then even more swarmed the ceiling. Laura was actually just telling me how she was having termite swarming problems… but then I shooed them outside, and I never saw them again. Do I dream this stuff?

Up next is my escape to the mountainsss, technically called the Ifugao Region. Hillary, Karla, and I had planned this trip a long time ago, but Hil’s Padayon Mindanao teacher’s camp dates were moved, she had to bail, so just the initial PC roomies, Karla and I! I LOVE THESE MOUNTAINSSS! We went to Baguio, or the “summer capital,” or so they call it since its cooler, but way too crowded. We went to museums, went strawberry picking, ate ice cream, saw the independent movie Ilo Ilo and cried, it was great. Then, we were on the 6-hour bus to Sagada, the place I was most excited for. We saw the famous hanging coffins, burial caves, and we went on the 3 hour cave-connection, which was the most intense full body workout of my life! At certain points we had to contort our bodies just to fit down a hole, other times we hade to wade through waste deep water, and other times we had to pull our whole body weight up by a rope. Karla was not lovin it at times and pretty scared, but I thought it was so awesome! After the intensity, we found the most adorable café that turned out to be vegan and so delicious. Mountain Love! Our last stop was Banaue, or what we liked to call zombieland since everyoneeee chewed this tobacco like stuff called “momah,” that turned their mouths blood red! It was actually repulsive, but the rice terraces there were stunning! But goodness getting to those was another full body workout! The trip overall was WONDERFULLL, and Sagada is probably my favorite place in the Philippines. It only took us a miserable 10 hour overnight bus, and 5 hours of sleeping by a pizza place at the airport to get to our flights back to flat, hot, land.

Strawberry Fields Forever

Jeepneys Never Get Old.

Burial Caves

Feel the burn!

Cuteness Overload at Vegan Cafe GAIA

#Walking Dead?

Stunning - 2,000 year old Batad Terraces

BenCab Museum, Baguio City

NOW, I am sitting at the airport waiting for my flight to BALI to meet my brother and mother, yahooooo!!!! Let the good times roll… until I have to go back to work at school the day after returning. Ah, I suppose it had to happen eventually, and it is about time I be productive, but where did the summer run off to? I was actually chosen from 48 applications to be one of the “resource volunteers,” for the incoming batch training, which means a lot more work heading my way! I probably could have and should have made this blog more detailed because of all the juicy content, but I am going to try to get some shut-eye instead of burning my retinas more by this computer. Ta ta for now!