The End.

Well Philippines… it has been real. The time has finally come for me to return to the States, and I could not have imagined a more spectacular couple of years. My Peace Corps time may be up, but I am taking with me everlasting bonds with two Filipino forever families, who gave an overwhelming amount of love to me, and dozens of PCV best friends… a handful of which are the coolest, smartest, funniest, most worldly and fascinating weirdoes I have ever had the pleasure to meet. We conquered goat intestines, typhoons, fake cheese, loneliness, flying cockroaches, earthquakes, self-doubt, parasites, tears, joys, and so much more together. I am moving on to the next chapter of life, but the Philippines and all of the people who have touched my heart will forever be with me. What an incredible adventure! Words cannot express my gratitude. Gihigugma ko ang Pilipinas sa kanunay! Mobalik ko, unya ra. Salamat sa tanan! (I will always love the Philippines. I will return soon. Thank you everyone!)

Divas

LOVE

I am currently spending my last few days at the Peace Corps pension house in Manila. It is in a pretty sketchy area of the pines, and surprise surprise there is another typhoon! I had to drag all of my giant 2-year full bags through the storm, and through all of the beggars lying on the street, and through piles of poop and pee being washed everywhere, almost getting blown over with my umbrella bent backwards. Not my finest moment, but a perfect goodbye to the Philippines indeed. These rough experiences are never shown in the Facebook picture façade of fun and good times…

I had a surprise school despedida (farewell party) last week, it was quite a treat. It was a formal program, so my principal, and former principal made speeches that were surprisingly touching. My clever glee kids performed a re-enactment drama of my first day at school, which was hilarious and complete with all of my mannerisms. They also performed songs.  One of my favorite parts was the reading of sweet appreciation letters from some of my old students. Cathy made a great PowerPoint presentation of all of my accomplishments at school, which really put things in perspective and made me feel proud. I had to give a final speech, but I don’t really remember what I even said because I was so overwhelmed with emotion, I think I just cried through half of my speech. I really did not know what to say, it was such an amazing program of appreciation, and it made me feel more special and useful than I have ever felt! Once in a lifetime kinda day.

Mariz and Nicole wanted to have sleepovers for my last three nights. It was pretty adorable, we three slept cuddled up on a matt on the floor, both of them spooning me from both angles. I actually woke up once to find 6 year-old Mariz looking me straight in the eyes and gently stroking my arm… so creepy at the initial moment but actually very very sweet when I thought about it coherently. I have given so much time and effort in entertaining them over the years, and it is clear how much they appreciate it, and of course, they have given me so many priceless memories and the feeling of sister love. I think I mentioned in a previous blog that Nicole once said that when I leave, she will look at a picture of me every night before going to sleep so she can dream that I am still there. I really can’t describe the feeling of being so so close with these girls now, when they were strange kids on the other side of the world just a couple of years ago. My host mother also keeps texting me now that they will not stop crying. So sad, but what can I do? It must be hard for them to process me really leaving, because people do not really ever come and go in these small communities. We plan to try to Skype soon, thank goodness for the internet sometimes!

I also had PCV friendship sleepovers for a few nights before that. I have slept cuddled up countless of times with other volunteers and that is something I am not sure would be acceptable in the states, but memories I will forever cherish. Why this happens so often in a sweaty country with no A/C, it is beyond us… must just be love. We are so connected to each other from sharing this unique volunteer experience and going through so many hardships together. We also of course had a final videoke outing and farewell for me, Chris, Jen, and Larry with the other new volunteers. We each had to choose a “swan song.” If you have never heard of swan song, it is called that because supposedly swans are silent all of their lives, then seconds before their death, they are said to release a beautiful final bird sound… haha! Hence, our farewell swan songs to each other and the newer batch peeps. Chris choose, “Time after Time,” Jen chose “Leavin on a Jet Plane” and “Closing Time,” I chose “Time of Your Life,” and Larry, the token Italian, chose “Time to Say Goodbye” by Sartori in Italian… so lovely (this is actually the same beautiful song Will Ferrell sings at the Catalina Wine Mixer in Step Brothers, hahaha.) Then, to end the night, the four of us sang “We are the Champions” and scored a rare perfect 100%... too good to be true! A few tears were shed, but mostly from the newer volunteers who will miss us so and don’t get to go home to dairy J. A final epic night.

Also, the once a year Dauin town fiesta was the day before I left, so it worked out as a great final family celebration, inevitable pig slaughter, and goodbye dance party. Walking away from my nipa hut the next morning, I felt a bit melancholy, but more of excitement, and no doubt I will be back to Dauin again someday.

My GLOW Gals

Some final thoughts…

As elated as I am to be coming home, there are a few things about the Philippines that I will truly miss. Family really is priority number one here, families, no matter the size, all sleep in the same bed, and people are most always thinking of how their actions affect others before their own desires and independence. A linguistics thing that I love is that Filipinos use the terms “Ate” and “Kuya” which literally translate to “big sister” and “big brother,” to address anyone who is doing them a service like a taxi driver or waitress. So cute and friendly. Also, as much as I hated the slow motion and laid back work ethic, I think I will miss that upon returning to the states, and leaving room during meetings for snacks and siesta on desks after lunch. Besides the delicious exotic fruits and people who I have grown to love as my own family, I can’t think of much else I will miss at the moment, but that is probably because I am all sentimentaled out, and too excited for home sweet home. With that and jumping back into the American Dream, this blog has finally come to an end. If you miss my ramblings, bad jokes, and weird adventures, give me a call or text sometime on the fancy phone that I guess I have to conform to because I hear you can’t even buy non-smart phones anymore? It’s time for me to reintegrate with the 9 to 5 robots and get back to work and play in Colorado. Peace Corps Philippines, what a ride… you awoke my soul.

Should

Could

Would

Did.

Turn Down for What?

My oh MY! So much more to share with you. I had my Peace Corps Close of Service Conference last week. It was probably the best week of my life… haha, I mean, I was with most of my best friends on a beautiful beach, free food, good cheap drinks, no worries! When will that ever happen again in my life?  The week started out with Jen, Chris, Larry, and I, “dream team” as we self profess ourselves… playing cards and talking about nonsense into the wee hours of the morning, then we headed to the gorgeous COS Conference on the same island as the magical tarsiers, Bohol, hope you haven’t forgotten about those fascinating creatures!   The first night of us all together got pretty weird… as to be expected. Music jamming, bonfire beach dancing, informal farting competition... as the hours passed, the weirder we got. Typical. Andrew shaved the stomach of Chris, after he passed out, into the initials of Ellen to get back at him for an earlier prank. People were eating chips and baby bird feeding it into other peoples’ mouths… just madness.

The next day we had a few sessions on adjusting back into the U.S. and sharing our ups and downs experiences here. Staff had told us that the whole conference is really just for de-stressing, decompressing, reflection, and bonding bonding before saying goodbye. No one likes goodbyes… therefore the drinking never stopped… over the whole 5 days and 4 nights. A few of us played sand volleyball… got a little too into it and I was not wearing shoes… My feet did not thank me for that, and bloody blisters stuck around for days after... I guess that’s what day drinking does to a person. I have so many wonderful memories from the week. One night, Hillary, Dave, Chris, and I, “dream team deux,” had some deep convo in this magical big ying yang chair by the bonfire. Just enchanting, I have crazy love for all these weirdo folks.

Negros Island WhackJobs

Everybody joined Zumba at the end of the Talent Show... we can see that some psycho in the back is dancing to the rhythm of his own drum... Stanley A.K.A. Chris Dolce

Laundry Challenge! Washing by hand... the Filipina norm

The last night was the most fun. Some volunteers planned a Filipino challenge and trivia night. It later turned into a raging dance pool party. Some of the challenges were washing by hand skills, sari sari price is right, balut eating, etc. The talent show we had was equally amazing with a hilarious “tight pants” SNL parody reenactment, and a big group of boys showing their zumba skills, a beauty and the beast “provincial life parody,” and so much more. Our Magic Zac volunteer also stuck with tradition and made a compilation sweet video of the past 2 years. Also, earlier in the day, Peace Corps Staff had surprised us with a touching video compiled with letters from all of our work sites. Most were from volunteer’s work organizations, but mine was a more personal and sweet one from my host mom, Joy. Here it is below…

“For my dearest Allie

You came to our life unexpectedly
and became a part of our family
You became a sister to my daughter
and took care of them as your own sister
You are so nice and lovable
and also very humble
You never complain about the food on the table
it goes to show that you are flexible

You make a good decision

To be part of a Peace Corp mission

Your courage and determination

Brings you to finished your contract without hesitation

You’re now counting the days

To be with your family

You never know,

 I’m starting to miss you.

Thank you for the time you spend with us
and for the memories that we will surely treasure

You are always be my ALLIE

And you were always be part of our family.

I’ am happy for you because you really did your best to work that’s why you got your price and also that is the fruit of your labor for being good person . “Hindi ka kasi Pusong Bato” that’s why God provide you with good fortune and it’s right there waiting for you when you go back to US. Thanks to your friends Hillary, Chris, Jen, Rocky, Audrey when they come and visit you because I could see that you are happy and I’m happy too. Our home is your home, you are always welcome WE LOVE YOU!!!”

We also did a fabulous activity where we had to draw a name out of a hat and describe one good memory with that volunteer and well wishes in front of the group. This turned into such a sentimental and awesome experience, so many tears shed and complimentary things said. Who was the one name that I was hoping not to draw? You guessed it, Daniel. Haha, and as fate would have it, that was just the name I drew. I could have traded, but I went with it. I shared some of our fun times in training and said that I knew the intense passion he has for his work and people will take him far in life. Several people came up to me later telling me how cool they thought it was that I didn’t trade his name, which made me feel really good. It was actually so creepy how most people who had issues with certain people drew their names. I wished no one traded, so we could be one big happy family! No more bad blood! We basically are anyway; just a couple of girls have some silly girl drama. The guy who drew my name, Russ, talked about how I am loyal to my friendships, always smiling, devoted to my work and host family, and someone who brings everyone up with my happy attitude. He is on an island far away from me, and he talked about how he wished he knew me better but feels like he knows me well by who I am such good friends with, he mentioned Chris and Hillary, because that says a lot about a person. Of course, my best friends in my PC batch are the coolest people in our batch, haha! But really, we have such a great batch full of cultured, brilliant, fascinating people from all walks of life and stages in life. Anyway, I thought it was a great activity and group reflection.

A small group of us stayed up until sunrise the last night, then I had to go driving at 8 AM! I woke up just in time to run onto the boat as it was pulling out. It was great diving, we saw a GIANT grouper, a bunch of turtles, and a big scary school of barracuda. A bunch of us went to Bohol Bee Farm after the conference to have some more together time. That was such a cool place, all of the food comes from their gardens, and the whole place is nature inspired, and the best homemade ice cream I have ever had. Very cool.

We did it!

The next few stories are from a while back. I had some family bonding making Funfetti cupcakes, I found the mix in Manila, and Nicole has always wanted to bake something, so we made them for Joy’s birthday. They came out pretty good, and the girls loved the new experience! A funny thing happened on my way home from Cebu a few weeks ago. I had basically travelled the 6 hours to this other island really only for food. Long lost good spicy real cheesy food! I brought back some Thai leftovers for when I got back to my hut and was jonesin for a noodle fix. However, this did not go as planned. My stop in Dumaguete City is that last stop if the line, so as we are about 10 minutes away, there are only 3 more people left on the bus. The ticket guy starts cleaning up the bus since people throw their trash anywhere and everywhere. As I am watching him, he takes my bag of food out of the overhead storage, opens the styrofoam container, takes a good look at it, then proceeds to throw it down onto the floor hard with the other trash. Sure, there was just a little bit of smelly noodles left, but I traveled far for those smelly noodles! I was not going to embarrass myself any further by trying to recover them… but I guess it’s a funny story now.

Watching the cupcakes rise!

As I mentioned before, I was chosen to be a Resource Volunteer and travel to the new trainee site to give a few presentations and advice. In true good example form, I stayed up singing videoke with dream team the night before my flight… we seriously sang in this room by ourselves for 6 straight hours. This is what the Philippines does to a person. I forgot my ID in the mad rush to the airport… can you believe I got on two flights, all over manila and back with no form of ID whatsoever? My bad. This whole resource volunteer experience was full of surprises but overall awesome. I had to find my own way solo across mountains to the town of Balanga, 4 hours from Manila. When I arrived, I was told I was staying with the language teachers, two Filipinas in their twenties. We all slept on mats in one room and shared a bucket and tabo to bathe with. We also ate only instant noodles and oatmeal all week, Filipino life to the max. Since I was presenting on integration and cultural adjustment, I suppose they knew I would not have a problem with any of that… but it was quite the switch going to Manila from that. I also got to sing videoke and have drinks with all the staff, which was weird but a nice special resource PCV privilege.

I really bonded with this new batch of education volunteers. I mean, most all PCVs are awesome people, adventurous and ambitious, so I was not too surprised. They have been through a lot already, a female volunteer was raped by her host brother, and a few of them have already Early Terminated back to the U.S., but the girl who went through that actually decided to stay in the Philippines, which was so brave and admirable. It was all so strange being with this new and bright-eyed batch when I am so close to the end. Something weirder, they officially “Swear In” as new volunteers the exact same day as I “COS” or close my service and fly back to the U.S.! September 17^th. So I will attend their special ceremony, then go straight to the airport after for HOME! I was also able to travel back to Subic for a couple of days to spend time with my original host family, which was very nice. For a final resource PCV story, I was observing one of the elementary volunteers teaching his math class one day. Here is the scene; the power was out, so no working fans and it was sooooo hot. This poor fellow had sweat soaked all the way through his work shirt to the point it was basically se through and his butt was also drenched in swamp butt sweaty fashion. As if all of that is not embarrassing enough… when he turns around to write on the board he knocks his head on a shelf, turns around continuing to talk to the class while blood starts to pour down his face and onto his clothes… another vol rushed over to him and puts tissues on his face, he did not even realize he was bleeding because he has prior nerve damage in his head. Haha, I tried so hard not to laugh when he was retelling the story the next day, but it was impossible. So very Peace Corps life. The struggle is real.

Some Chloe Cuddling back in Subic... my first little shadow!

The timing could not have been more perfect because the Education group was going on a field trip to the National Museum in Manila on Friday, so I just went with them and got to spend Hillary’s last two nights in the Philippines with her in posh Manila! Boy did we have adventures… we went out on the town and made friends with a couple of Iranian girls. The next night, Farnzaeh invited us to her birthday party at the biggest and snazziest club in the Philippines. I told her we could not make it because we had no fancy clothes, I had no ID, and Hil’s flight was at 4 AM… well I was the victim of peer pressure here, and we show up looking way out of place already with all the fancy people in their fancy tall shoes… then we meet up with the girls who are wearing matching white overall freaky outfits… yes, this was one of the weirdest nights of my life. Hil and I actually ran in the opposite direction when we first saw the girls, but we turned around because we are not that mean. Sure enough, it was another insane night, but Hil caught her early flight to Japan. Then it was back to my real life in my Nipa hut with a welcome home cockroach crawling up my foot while I was reading.

Just one of the many creatures that falls on my body from my nipa hut sky... the ominous footlong millipede...

Creepin...

Now, I have 13 more days left in the Philippines. For some final adventures… It was Lek lek’s birthday, so a bunch of the volunteers around went to a floating cottage by the beach in her town. Dream team also went on a monkey escapade the next day. We took motorcycles up the mountains to a place where a bunch of monkeys hang out. We also had to forge a raging river current to get there, all the while it was pouring down rain. Then, we jumped off a waterfall into a big muddy stream. Thank you Philippines!

It also came time for our very first Glee Concert! I made flyers and sold tickets last month, the proceeds will go towards our new GLEE weekly feeding program for severely wasted students. It was overall a stressful success. Cathy was off at a conference, so I was on my own to wrangle the 5 kiddos and make this show happen. One of my student’s family is in charge of all the sounds for Dauin events, I did not know this, I just knew that he was going to get some mics and speakers for us. The time rolls around and a bumpin car pulls up with these GIANT speakers that barely fit in the two classrooms that we have joined together for the show. It was a pretty hilarious site, the whole set-up, but thank goodness for those guys because I gave them the set list, and they knew exactly what to do! It was 12 songs total and a short drama/comedy show at intermission, the audience loved it all… thank goodness. Since it was a private show in order to sell tickets to raise money, we covered the windows with curtains and paper, which made it a somewhat sauna in there, and I don’t think I have ever been so sweaty running around like a chicken with its head cut off, but the show was great, and praise sweet baby Jesus it is over now! The next and last 13 days here will be spent playing with my host sisters, eating my favorite exotic fruits and ube (purple yam) ice cream, going to the despedida farewell parties of my friends, laughing, crying, and getting ready for MERICAAA! Hallelujah, the time has finally come!

Ta Da!

A handful from DNHS GLEE CLUB 2014-2015

Gettin it.

The Final Countdown

So this is what it feels like to be 25. What is my quarter life epiphany you may ask? Heck if I know… what is the magical mystery and fun spontaneity of life if you have everything all figured out? I am only one more blog posts away from being back in America posh, I do know that, praise the Lord! Inshallah! Thank you Great Leader!

Some of my favourite students who graduated came to school and surprised me with a b-day cake!

My other PARTY cake... coolest cake ever.

I have also learned to appreciate God’s sense of humor… like when the wind blows my hair in the night, and I freak out and wake up thinking a rat is on my head, or when the termite swarm somehow gets inside my mosquito net and all stuck in my hair, or when a giant black millipede slithers over my foot. (I screamed look down flung it off my foot into the air, realized what it was and scooped it in a paper to release it) Or the fact that everyone’s hair is falling out here because of the water, which smells like poop every time I turn on the faucet.  Yes, so I have to bathe with smelly fart water. Or when I am already having the worst day ever and I slice my finger open trying to move my fan while kids are heckling me outside my window, or lastly, when my little sister tells me that the Lola granny is sleeping/sweating in my bed during the days while I am at school. It seems that this whole experience is even more difficult with the finish line so closely in sight… but then I think back to my worst day, when I threw up from heat stroke in front of my students then was forced boiling water to drink and rubbed down with vapo rub giving me a full body on fire rash... and I think maybe that things are not more difficult now, I have just finally lost my tolerance for the daily struggle.

I just don’t want to fake happiness anymore. I want to be excited to wake up to a new day, not dread it and want to stay in bed forever because my burrito eating/ sexy time/ flower field frolicking dreams are better than reality. I know a lot of that is my own mindset, and you might think I am a whiney brat, but unless you worked solo with no pay in a developing country far from home, family, and friends for more than a year, you can’t understand what it’s like. The loneliness and times of cultural isolation are indescribable and unbearable; almost half of my batch dropping out over the past years proves that. I feel so much hate build up inside of me every day and it terrifies me. I hate the teacher who always makes fun of my nose and skips her classes. I hate the student who beat up my sweetest Glee Club star student because he “didn’t like his face.” I hate the mosquitos, ants, termites, spiders, cockroaches, one of which is on my body every second. I hate having terrifying earthquake dreams and waking up so utterly alone. I hate the dirty old men who come here from abroad to have sex with children. I hate that families force their daughters into sex trafficking because they are all starving. But most of all, I hate myself for letting all of the useless and detrimental hatred build up inside of me. I know how bad it is, and I know I am the only one with the power to turn things around… but sometimes a girl has just gotta vent! The Philippines is a very flawed country, with corruption, nepotism, greed, and the Department of Education at the root of the problem. The hardest working people are the ones who struggle the most just to get by while the lazy rich get richer, a common world dilemma, but it sure doesn’t help here with all of the typhoons, landslides, and volcanic eruptions keeping things chaotic. The most depressing thing is that things won’t ever get better for the Philippines. Stay tuned for a deeper personal opinion analysis after I return home… once my emotions are in check… if that ever happens again.

“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” – Miriam Adeney

I did have an awesome dive with Harold and the gang a few weeks back. Just here in my Dauin backyard beach, in the muck sand area, we spotted 3 different seahorses (one of which was pregnant), a rare hairy frogfish, pink and white frogfishes, scorpionfish, and the magical flamboyant cuttlefish. Our dive ended up being 92 minutes long! I guess I have finally regulated my breathing because most tanks only last about 45 minutes. I love going out with those dive masters, and I realize how lucky I am.

The next week I discovered that we grow beautiful luscious spinach in out yard! We actually grow all sorts of cool things, chili peppers, mangos, calamansi (lemon/lime/orange hybrids), kamote (sweet potato), kalamunggay (horseradish), but the spinach is all over the place and never picked or eaten… until I told my host mom how healthy it is and how much I like it. I am seriously deprived of actual healthy green foods around here… pork fat and goat intestines don’t do my body good. Guess what was for dinner the next night? I walk into the house to find a giant plate full of individually four/egg battered and fried spinach leaves… I couldn’t help but laugh… to keep from crying… haha. Nicole smiled as she crunched, “I’m eating vegetables and healthy, yay!” Ohhhhhh sigh…. I didn’t have the heart to say that frying the leaves defeats the healthy purpose of eating it… but it was cute that they tried something new to make me happy.

Last night I drank wine out of my coffee pot, since all the cups are in the other house, and I tried to splash a giant spider with my tabo (that handle bucket I use to bathe) which resulted in the water flying backwards over my head at each time (3 separate attempts) drenching my whole hut…another movie humiliation moment. Peace Corps should have a reality TV show.

I have written this blog in moments over several different days, as you might be able to tell by the extreme mood shifts. I am really trying to turn it around and get my positive attitude and optimism back now. I only have 8 more weeks left in the Philippines, and I am going to cherish the rest of this adventure. I will never be more young and alive than I am at this very moment.